IHYS aka Frank A. Diaz presents “I got this shit in a discount bin.”

I love comics. That’s probably not hard to figure out considering Billy Purgatory and the kinda stuff that I post on here all the time – I guess you can call me a comic-geek or whatever, I’ve never been offended by the terminology. If you gotta drop me into a category as something, I’d rather it be that then names that my ex’s have for me or something like, “He really drinks a lot of Mt. Dew. He’s a Dewist.”

As much as I love comics, I do not even come close to the level of immense-fandomosity that Frank A. Diaz has achieved in his lifetime.

A fixture of the comics scene online and all-about town in his native Miami – Frank lives the dream. Being an amazing artist himself, nothing gets Frank as excited like great comic book art and artists. He’s all into story too, but it’s the art that really sparks up his Light-Brite.

For those of you who aren’t so into comics – there’s a place in every comic book store in America that aficionados like us love to mine like a bunch’a Dwarves singing Hi-Ho – the treasure chest which is The Discount Bin:

In anticipation of the upcoming Billy2, Billy Purgatory is .99 on Amazon – so, “You could got that shit in a discount bin!” Click!

Author Jesse James Freeman delivers a comic book for the ages in novel form with this wild, tongue-in-cheek, imaginative creation that will suspend your disbelief. Jump in if you’re looking to immerse yourself in a unique and original fantasy tale with a sick twist….Billy Purgatory dares you to join him.

Walter Penko’s “The Onion Psychiatrist” [Graphic Novel]

Walter Penko produces an indie comic out of his garage in Sylvania, Illinois – it’s called The Onion Psychiatrist. Just as the title states, it’s about an onion that is also a psychiatrist.

The premise of the book is that people come in to talk about their fears, their lives, their phobias – and the onion psychiatrist sits quietly listening. Invariably, just as his patients will start to feel better about their problems, the drifting lines that Penko draws to indicate the odor of the onion psychiatrist will reach the patient’s nose and they will begin tearing up and crying uncontrollably.

The onion psychiatrist only listens, Penko never employs talk bubbles with the character. The silent dialogue from the onion psychiatrist is handled by the swirling odor-lines eminating from his spherical frame. In this way, the onion is a silent observor of life’s happenings, trapped within some self imposed solitary confinement and unable to effectively interact with those people who desperately need him the most.

His patients are shown panel by panel pouring out their souls about life’s tragic circumstances while the onion sits there, quietly, stewing in his own stench. It’s as if this stench is actually a pervading anti-noise that cuts the patients down panel per panel, until they can no longer keep their composure, and in an explosive mess of tears and Kleenex, they let it all go.

Onion Psychiatrist is a tale of life in our time.  Detached from the closeness of other humans and retreating further and further into stinky personal hells. The book employs this metaphor as its core theme – the pushing away from society until the stink of it all breaks us down and exposes the fragile souls within the armor we wear day to day. As tears are purged and emotions well to the surface we are all, inevitably, gasping for clean air.

Penko himself is one who has been gasping his entire life – reaching out, but not really knowing how or who to reach to. Comics were never his life’s ambition, and even now as a sort of cult figure in the indie comics world, he seems uneasy with the whole affair. He began Onion Psychiatrist after he was laid off from the computer manufacturing industry (The Intellivision crash of ’83).

He could only find odd jobs to sustain himself and his family (eleven cats, all named Whiskers). He began his comics career after becoming obsessed with the newspaper staple The Family Circus, but also credits Hi and Lois as a huge inspiration. Never into the idea of superheroes, he decided that if he was going to venture into the comics world he’d have to create something real and that spoke to people just like me.

Penko took the plunge, investing in materials and given the luxury of free time to work on the book after a successful appearance on the game show The Price is Right allowed him to win a Showcase Showdown. Selling off his prizes for cash (a new dishwasher, a grandfather clock, and a Chevy Cavalier), …

…he purchased art supplies and began working on what would become Onion Psychiatrist. Disheveled and walking around his house in a dirty bathrobe, he drank nothing but Sanka and obsessively chewed nicotine gum for inspiration.

His compulsions paid off eventually.

Even now with his cult status and his awards he still doesn’t feel he’s arrived. Something seems to still naw at him – as if he’s the subject of his own comic. The book, he admits, has been cathartic for him.  He ventures out more, joining a square dancing class recently as well as participating in war re-enactments of the US occupation of Grenada.

“I guess…” as he ends our talk through his locked screen door, “I guess I just haven’t smelt that stank yet – that stinked.  You know? I guess I ain’t got a good enough snitched of my own stink, that which comes from my own onion. It ain’t made them teardrops flow.”

As the front door proper closed, I heard the rhythmn of many locks snapping into place and I left there feeling I had learned something about the human condition. I hummed a tune, as I lazily made my way to the next house on the block, still trying to give away all those copies of Watchtower that weighed me down so – but with a little more spring in my step.

* * * * *

I am not the genius that Walter Penko is, and I have never written a comic about Sanka or Onions, but…

Billy Purgatory happens to be the most badass skateboarder and sweet talker any broad can meet–even at the age of ten. He is also the target of supernatural forces he can’t understand, and doesn’t want to.

Billy just can’t seem to avoid all things Monster. Growing up, he encounters Devil Birds, gypsies, Time Zombies and vampires (and not the kind you want to bring home to your Pop, either). He tries to convince himself they’re not real by joining the army, fixes cars and even goes to Vegas. But whenever Billy thinks he’s put it all behind him, a monster shows up, and it’s usually in the form of the beautiful Anastasia…

Click for Time Zombie Transportation to Amazon!

Billy Purgatory is Jesse James Freeman’s first novel. He’s also studied psychology and film and scripted comics. When he’s not writing books, Jesse James trains falcons to kill Leprechaun Robots, and will continue to do so until the world is relatively safe.

Guy Davis does Billy Purgatory pin-up / Moses Jaen makes it rain!

Guy Davis is an artist and badass.  His work in the comic book world is the stuff of legends: an American comic book artist primarily known for his work on Sandman Mystery Theatre and various Hellboy-related comics. He has also done work for various White Wolf, Inc. books as well has his own series, Nevermen and The Marquis. *(wiki)

My friend Moses Jaen, an artist of equal badassary, talked Mr. Davis into doing a Billy Purgatory pin-up page which is sweeter than a Paula Deen Triple-Sugar-Buttah-Cake with a Guinness-float-BBQ-flavor-ice-cream-chaser!

You’ve seen fire, now see THE RAIN

Billy Purgatory art by Guy Davis

Guy Davis and I shared some emails, as I wanted to have his blessing to post this on my site – I can report that he is gracious, a gentleman, and a scholar – as anyone who had anything to do with the fucking B.P.R.D. would have to be!

Moses Jaen has helped me every step of the way, back when Billy Purgatory was just a crazy comic idea.  Here is the first Billy sketch Moses ever did, and a page from the comic we produced and peddled a few years back at San Diego Comic-Con.

Billy Purgatory and the Curse of the Satanic Five art by Moses Jaen

Page from the original Billy Purgatory comic from Blinky's Zine pencils by Moses Jaen

Thank you Guy Davis and thank you Moses Jaen for making nerd-dreams a reality!

Moses Jaen is an artist and sculptor who lives in NYC. You should check out his portfolio by clicking this ass-knocking Godzilla sculpture he did!

Click for Time Zombie Transportation to Amazon!

Billy Purgatory happens to be the most badass skateboarder and sweet talker any broad can meet–even at the age of ten. He is also the target of supernatural forces he can’t understand, and doesn’t want to.

Billy just can’t seem to avoid all things Monster. Growing up, he encounters Devil Birds, gypsies, Time Zombies and vampires (and not the kind you want to bring home to your Pop, either). He tries to convince himself they’re not real by joining the army, fixes cars and even goes to Vegas. But whenever Billy thinks he’s put it all behind him, a monster shows up, and it’s usually in the form of the beautiful Anastasia…

Billy Purgatory is Jesse James Freeman’s first novel. He’s also studied psychology and film and scripted comics. When he’s not writing books, Jesse James trains falcons to kill Leprechaun Robots, and will continue to do so until the world is relatively safe.

Jesse James recently contributed 4 essays to the book Write for the Fight: A Collection of Seasonal Essays, co-authored by Tess Hardwick (Riversong) and Tracey Hansen. All author proceeds will be donated to charities engaged in the fight against breast cancer. The book is currently a Nook First exclusive.

Comics: An example of what to expect from I Have Your Shit

The following excerpts were stolen from a popular social networking site (yeah, the one they made the movie about with the kid from Zombieland and Justin Bieber Timberlake):

im tempted to use Jesse James blog as a command center to launch a full frontal hate war campaign against those Big Bang Theory guys. hate that fucking show and its Jim Crowing of the comics scene.

Uncanny X-men would be so much better if they got Ron Garney to draw it. its just not as good as it should be. i like the writing but the lack of steady art is just killing me. *do not turn this into an anti-Greg Land thread. cause its likely you cant draw period.

the new “ghost of a lil boy in the window in Three men and a baby” is Spider-Man and Wolverine in the Avengers movie. theyre so there..

what are those things flying around and blowing shit up in the 10second Avengers trailer? anyone?

the man who fooled the world by insistingly denying that Spider-Man is in the Avengers Movie is lying. lets wait and see..

maybe i am telling the truth about Spider-Man in the Avengers movie and maybe im lying about Wolverine in the Avengers movie. only time will tell.

are those the Skrulls at 9seconds to 10seconds?

if i was nun id so take a ruler to PROPHET #21 for its radical naughtiness and innuendos. hurry and read this comic so i can spank you too.

dear internet, give me someone else to curse out for talking shit about comics. hurry. sincerely, The Batman of saying “Fuck” and “Shit”.

tomorrow DC drops Watchmen 2 news. and yes Spider-Man shows up in that too.

Coming Soon!

New Guest Column about COMICS! Coming Soon!

One of the things that I love, and that was not responsible for my heart shrinking to the cold-dark orb it has become, is COMICS!

How the hell did this image make it into my comics folder?

And while I do really love them – I must admit that I’m out of the scene to some extent.  You see, I live in a vast wasteland filled with deserts and oil wells and rattlesnakes – but sadly, not a comic book shop for 100 miles (Texas is a big place).  I want to be in the know when it comes to the comic book world just as much as the next nerd guy.  While I might not have the necessary skills to let you know what’s happening, I do possess a vast network of spies and KGB-type operatives in that world.

This brings us to Frank aka “I Have Your Shit” (yes, that is his Odin-given name).

If you don't know what's in those boxes just stop reading now (no, not bodies)!

Frank and I have known each other through much of the 2000′s, we used to ‘Zine-it-up’ together back in the Myspace days.  He’s the guy who is always posting on my FB, “JJ, you’re an idiot if you don’t go buy this comic right now.  Don’t worry about grandma’s oxygen tank, go to the store right now and get it.”

This is what it looks like inside I Have Your Shit's brain when he's looking at himself through his mind's eye when he's drawing himself looking at himself in Portabella-vision.

If he suggests a comic, he does so passionately (kinda screaming sort of) and he means what he says.  Frank will be providing my blog with updates on comics, artists, writers, and why he knows X-Men First Class was crap.  He has been given full editorial control, his own timetable, and access to the Billy Purgatory private jet to accomplish his mission.

I will be updating you on his progress as he begins to churn the wheel of psychedelic-death and am eagerly anticipating what is coming our way (plus, it’s a day when I don’t have to come up with something to blog and I can write more about vampire girlfriends and LBJ flying around in a UFO).

If comics + badassary could be combined it would = I Have Your Shit, and you will have that shit too, very very soon.!

Right before he turned green and ate up all your chicken.